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Posts Tagged ‘love’

One month

I’m noticing that my weakness in terms of diet and exercise isn’t motivation or ability.  It’s organization and forethought.  I fall off the wagon when I haven’t gone grocery shopping and when I haven’t done the dishes.  So–I should go grocery shopping more often, and I should make a point of washing my dishes every night so I can cook up my meats, fish, vegetables, lentils, and fruits.

But, while my dieting hasn’t been going well, my exercise has been going brilliantly.  I *adore* running. I adore being outside in my park and meeting my neighbors (and their dogs).

Yesterday was my one-month un-niversary with The Man Who Dumped Me. I still think about him constantly–I even dream about him.  On the other hand, I’m seeing three men–Grimmy, Mr. Surrealist, and The Doctor (more on him later!), I’m dressing better, and I’m plowing through finals and school.

So it’s not all bad. Not at all.

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Today marks the first day that I will run as much as I walk! I shall run for five minutes and then walk for five minutes, repeating this pattern until thirty minutes have elapsed.  I am so ready for this!

Yesterday’s note from The Man Who Dumped Me dove me into a tailspin of mopy-ness that sapped my energy and woke me up early this morning, but I’m hoping that the run/walk and the rest of my day will buoy me to acceptable levels of assertiveness.

In other news, I need to be smacked upside the head.  Yesterday and the day before, I was besieged with body dissatisfaction.  Whenever I looked in the mirror, I saw broadness and unshapliness.  I am not particularly prone to this sort of body moping–usually I’m vain enough to focus on the good and mask the bad and get on with life.  Why now? I’ve lost ten pounds. I’m active and eating well. I’m doing well–why should my ugly censors activate now rather than before? What a problem.  I’mahafta fix this one, and soon.

Also! Tonight I get to see Grimmy!

***

Diet and exercise (to be updated throughout the day):

31 push-ups and 71 crunches completed. A bonus walk to go fetch my cat from a neighbor’s yard. Thirty-minute run/walk completed (yippee!).

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He thought of me.

The Man Who Dumped Me sent me a note today.  We talk every day, but today he ended with “just a note because this made me think of you.” And ah, yikes. I’m not ready for poignant friendship. I don’t want to suddenly have a case of the “I wish he’d take me backs.” I want to feel stronger, more confident, and more lovely. I want to smack him across the face with my awesomeness and make *him* all yearny, not me. But I am. All yearny that is.

So! If I needed motivation to get in a second workout today, this was it. I’m going out for a damned walk. Hurgh! Damnit, I’m going to heal, and I’m going to heal into something better than I was before. Yikes, yikes, yikesity.

(Also, I *love* my Listerine tooth-whitening rinse.  Mr. Surrealist and I took some pictures together, and I love how white my teeth look in them.)

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I visited Mr. Surrealist in his city on Saturday and Sunday.  We walked in Japanese gardens and ate a four course meal at a fondue restaurant. I didn’t mind at all.  I ran on Saturday morning, and walked about his neighborhood on Sunday morning.  The weekend was a total loss, diet-wise, but pleasant and productive enough exercise-wise.

This morning I jog/walked at a different ratio: three minutes of jogging to five minutes of walking, and I managed that with a sufficient degree of success.  My shins are beginning to decry my treatment of them, so I’ll only be running every other day now, but I’m developing cross-training plans and have been given a gift card for some excellent shoes.

Now I owe myself some crunches and push-ups; so…

***

Diet and exercise (to be updated throughout the day):

Thirty-minute jog/walk completed (three minutes of jogging to five minutes of walking).

Avocado and an orange for breakfast. Lunch! A grapefruit, some beef jerky, spring carrots, celery, and a few bites of steak.  A cup of tea. A square of dark chocolate.  Thirty push-ups and seventy crunches completed. Dinner was another avocado, a grapefruit, sunflower seeds, and peanuts.

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The dread hill

On the other end of town, the world opens up into the countryside, and there, there there is a hill.  I call it the dread hill.  The trail up this hill goes straight up, with no respite, no levelling off, and no mercy. It marches unwaveringly forth for about a mile.  Today, my ass, my feet, and my new bit of sumpin’ walked up that hill together.

It kicked me in my non-existant gnads, I tell you what. I had to stop often. I walked backwards. I huffed, puffed, and took breaks.

This means a new goal: first, I will walk up the dread hill without stopping.

Then I will run up it.

New bit of sumpin’! I’m going to call him “Grimmy” here. Grimmy is lovely. Now, betwixt Mr. Surrealist and Grimmy, I’m feeling a lot of affection in the air.  This, this is good for me.

I have to, a bit petulantly, I admit, remark that while Mr. Surrealist and Grimmy are fabulous and self-esteem bolstering and kind and all, like, courting me and stuff, there’s a part of me that (1. really wants The Man Who Dumped Me back, and (2. would really like for him to see me getting all of this attention. My wiser self is prevailing however; there’s no point in flaunting or flouncing or yearning.  There is a point to running, eating well, and doing my damned makeup.

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The crap:

Ate wildly and hungrily at a *magnificent* buffet spread after a troubling memorial service.

Proceeded to skip dinner.

Was tired and oogy for this morning’s jog/walk.

The victorious:

I didn’t back out of my jogging or running, even though I was poorly fueled and tired.

The Man Who Dumped Me *will* one day see me lithe and happier without him, and I won’t let a little thing like a binge at a buffet get me down.

Now.

Talk to me about shins and ankles.

How can I protect them from the thudding? Are there stride tips? Shoe tips? Independent exercises that I can do?

***

Diet and exercise (to be updated throughout the day)!

Sixty-seven crunches and twenty-seven push-ups completed.

Thirty minute jog/walk completed (one minute of walking to five minutes of jogging). Ate a mango, some strips of bell pepper, and a few olives for breakfast.  Hiked for an hour and a half–an hour straight up, a half-hour straight down).  Ate spare ribs, a salad, and a frozen yogurt.

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Enraged tooth whitening!

Part of my master plan for vengeance involves improving all of how I look.  Personally, I think that beauty doesn’t come from a tube or a cream: I think it comes from the glow of health and happiness.  White teeth are a sign of health, a signifier of biological well-being.  So, not only do I plan to kick The Man Who Dumped Me in the teeth with my fitter body, I plan to blind him with brilliant, cloud-white teeth.  The more to point out, on a subliminal level, how fit and appropriate I am for passing along genes.  You can call me Vengefulrella.

So, today I purchased whitening rinse from Listerine and whitening toothpaste from Crest.  The strips just weren’t working out for me.  I’ll be rinsing and brushing twice a day; I’ll let you know how it goes.

Also, tonight I have a date with The Blonde Fool.  He’s an on-again, off-again friend with benefits, and we’re having a steak dinner  when I’m done teaching tonight.  He’s pretty. He’s good company.  It’ll do me good.

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