Posts Tagged ‘beauty’

Today marks the first day that I will run as much as I walk! I shall run for five minutes and then walk for five minutes, repeating this pattern until thirty minutes have elapsed.  I am so ready for this!

Yesterday’s note from The Man Who Dumped Me dove me into a tailspin of mopy-ness that sapped my energy and woke me up early this morning, but I’m hoping that the run/walk and the rest of my day will buoy me to acceptable levels of assertiveness.

In other news, I need to be smacked upside the head.  Yesterday and the day before, I was besieged with body dissatisfaction.  Whenever I looked in the mirror, I saw broadness and unshapliness.  I am not particularly prone to this sort of body moping–usually I’m vain enough to focus on the good and mask the bad and get on with life.  Why now? I’ve lost ten pounds. I’m active and eating well. I’m doing well–why should my ugly censors activate now rather than before? What a problem.  I’mahafta fix this one, and soon.

Also! Tonight I get to see Grimmy!


Diet and exercise (to be updated throughout the day):

31 push-ups and 71 crunches completed. A bonus walk to go fetch my cat from a neighbor’s yard. Thirty-minute run/walk completed (yippee!).


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My quest for revenge has led me to become an even more ingenius mastermind.  In my search to crush my ex’s soul with my bad-assedry, I have honed my plans to even more excellent proportions.

This plan will have alternate days: Day 1 and Day 2.

Day 1: run/walk, push-ups, crunches, (and swimming, yoga, or hiking)

Day 2: walk, oblique crunches, glute bridges, and tricep dips (which are oh, so difficult) (and swimming, yoga, or hiking)

What makes this plan so very cunning is that it gives me a day to rest up from the high-impactedness of the running, and it gives one set of muscles a chance to rest while I work on the others.

I will continue to eat only meat, fish, vegetables, fruits, and water or tea, and I’ve added small amounts of dark chocolate to the permission list.

Also! I have just read Andy Paige’s “Style on a Shoestring”, and I *adore* it. I want to follow every bit of advice in there.  What she has to say about the fit of a garment and the colors you choose to wear is incredibly smart.  I’ve been applying her ideas.

I culled my wardrobe and got rid of everything that didn’t fit my body according to her standards.  I bought a pair of cute shoes. I started wearing bling and putting my hair back.

Wouldn’t you know it? Yesterday and the day before I got stormed with compliments. SO, say I. SO, SO.  I will be putting together a binder of checklists based on her recommendations and will take it shopping with me wherever I go. Ooh, ooh, ooh.  This is exciting. And vengeful.  When The Man Who Dumped Me sees me next, with my new sense of style and my whiter teeth and my healthier body, he will be oh, so sorry.


Diet and exercise (to be updated throughout the day):

Twenty oblique crunches, twenty glute bridges, and twenty tricep dips completed. Thirty minute walk completed. Ate a mini-chicken pie and a tiny vanilla cupcake. Breast of chicken, lentils, and a square of dark chocolate.

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My beauty philosophy firmly believes that beauty comes from fitness, happiness, and overall health.  So, I am working on that–I’m working out twice a day and eating vegetables, meats, fruits, fish, and lentils, and drinking only water and tea.  I’m wearing sunscreen and exfoliating gently every day.  I wear a bit of cocoa butter on my face and arms for softness, and I’ve been wearing chapstick.

Now it’s time to work on the details: the clothes, the cosmetics, and hair styles, which should, indeed, be details compared to the rest of my beauty regime.  I am hopeless at this part, so I’ve purchased a book: Andy Paige’s “Style on a Shoestring”.  It arrives in the mail soon.

Before it gets here, do you have any bits of beauty wisdom?

She advises that a woman always wear lipstick, and not in a dark color but in a lighter, brighter cover.  Hey, whatever she says–my own store of knowledge regarding cosmetics is pitiful.  So, today, I’m going to wear lipstick.  Actually, I’m going to wear a light pink “limp plumping gloss”.

She also suggests that everything I wear give me a waist, so when I dress in my non-workout clothes later this morning, I’ll check to see if they do, indeed, give me a waist.

Thirdly for now, she also suggests that I wear cute, delicate shoes.


Okay.  I have one pair of cute, delicate shoes.  I’ll wear them.

Also! Today the tooth-whitening continues, and I have more running and walking to do! As well as more yoga or swimming, depending on the weather! It’ll be a good day!


Diet and exercise (to be updated throughout the day):

Sixty-six crunches and twenty-six push-ups completed. Thirty minute jog/walk completed (jogged for one minute, walked for five minutes, repeated).

Breakfast was a mango with a cup of peppermint tea.  For lunch, I’ve packed an orange, a grapefruit, some almond slivers, some dates, and some carrot sticks.

I am wearing my lip gloss!

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Enraged tooth whitening!

Part of my master plan for vengeance involves improving all of how I look.  Personally, I think that beauty doesn’t come from a tube or a cream: I think it comes from the glow of health and happiness.  White teeth are a sign of health, a signifier of biological well-being.  So, not only do I plan to kick The Man Who Dumped Me in the teeth with my fitter body, I plan to blind him with brilliant, cloud-white teeth.  The more to point out, on a subliminal level, how fit and appropriate I am for passing along genes.  You can call me Vengefulrella.

So, today I purchased whitening rinse from Listerine and whitening toothpaste from Crest.  The strips just weren’t working out for me.  I’ll be rinsing and brushing twice a day; I’ll let you know how it goes.

Also, tonight I have a date with The Blonde Fool.  He’s an on-again, off-again friend with benefits, and we’re having a steak dinner  when I’m done teaching tonight.  He’s pretty. He’s good company.  It’ll do me good.

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Ohmygosh; I think that this is working.

My skin care routine has improved my skin an impressive amount; my pores are smaller, my skin is smoother, and I’m breakout free.  I keep touching my face because it’s so soft.  Ooh.

I’ve been keeping a pile of clean wash cloths in the bathroom.  Every morning in the shower, I gently exfoliate my face and arms with a new one, then put it away to be washed.  I’m pretty sure that I look younger and healthier now (and I’m guessing that my scarily healthy diet has something to do with improving the underlying color as well).

Too, while I haven’t lost a ginormous amount of weight (and who would expect to after this amount of time?), my muscles have, it seems, *activated*, tightening up and engaging a bit–most obviously on my torso.

I can totally deal with this.  I hope more improvements like this come down the pike as I continue to work out and eat well–that’d be so cool.  It’d be like magic, almost.


Diet and exercise (to be updated throughout the day):

Twenty push ups and sixty crunches completed. Thirty minute walk completed.  I had a cup of tea. Then, indulgence! I had a nonfat mocha and a warmed chocolate croissant; I’m so glad I got that out of my system.  Lunch is a bowl of vegetable soup and a few prunes.

I couldn’t bring myself to swim, so I turned on Pandora and danced and jogged in place for twenty minutes.

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I have ridden out the plateau and emerged triumphant with a new, lower number on my scale.  Hip, hip! I say! Or, to be less anatomical about it, Yip, yip!

This morning I woke up at 5:00 with thoughts of The Man Who Dumped Me filling my head and making me feel very sad.  I still feel very close to him, and it’s with a sense of amazement that I realize that he’s really gone: he won’t put his foot on top of mine while he watches movies with me, we won’t go boating together, and he’ll never again seduce me by cooking dinner with a clean towel flung over his shoulder as jazz music plays.  It’s over, but I was bonded to him–and making a healthy break of this is damned difficult.

So, I’ve finished my push ups and my crunches, and now I’m going to go for a walk, and later I’ll swim, and I’ll kick ass in my classes and I’ll do well at my job, and hopefully over time the amount of pain and frustration this breakup produces will trend in a downward fashion.

I’m going to metaphorically kick this man in the nuts with my awesomeness, I tell you what, and then he’s gonna be all like “ow” and stuff. Hurgh!


Diet and exercise (updated throughout the day):

Fifty-nine crunches and nineteen push ups completed.  Thirty minute walk completed.

Breakfast was a cup of anise tea, a bowl of vegetable soup, and an orange.  I packed a pork chop, a baggie of thin spring carrots and two baggies of chopped celery for school.

I spent about a half hour playing in the water.  Then I had several glasses of water (I was thirsty!) a bowl of vegetable soup (which finishes off *that* pot–I’ll make another tomorrow), and four prunes.  I’ll have a little something else later.

The little something extra! Oh, holy jeez.  I had an avocado (a whole one!), and I topped it with the juice of one lime, some black pepper, and some coarse sea salt.  Nom, nom.  Now I am satisfied and replete–and want anise tea to wrap things up for the night!

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I walk every morning. (Soon to morph into jogging as the training allows)

I swim or do another bit of low impact exercise every afternoon.

I do push ups and crunches, and I add one more of each every day.

I eat only fruits, vegetables, meats, fish, and lentils.

I drink only plain water or tea.

I am kind, chatty, and low-pressure with The Man Who Dumped Me.

I plan my revenge and use my spite as fuel to propel me along my way (it works!).

Soon, oh yes, soon, within months, I will be transformed for the healthier, the prettier, and the sexier.  The Man Who Dumped Me will weep bitter tears upon seeing my bodacious person, oh yes. Oh yes.

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